In Memory of…

Today marks the burial of a man who has contributed much to who I am today. Although not a blood relative, I have always treated him as more than a big brother. The last sight of him placed me in such pain and the news of his passing away caused deep sadness. Until the time of this writing, I still find it difficult to speak to those he had left behind. 

But God cares for us so much. He is truly faithful. Indeed, blessed are those who mourn because we are comforted. As I watched his memorial video, I realized that if I was able to speak to him during his last days, he would have said this:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race,

I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:7

I am writing this entry in tribute to his life. A life that has been selflessly shared with everyone around him. Here is how I will remember him

  1. He taught me chess when I was 4 – I appreciate not just the lesson but the time he spent with me when my parents were busy finding ways to support us. Now I understand that time is a commodity that can never be renewed.
  2. He taught me to drive when I was 10 – Not just the ability to do so, but the trust he gave as he placed me behind the wheels. We almost crashed, but he let me drive the next day anyway. Today I can trust the younger generation with much more than what I think they could do.
  3. He gave me my first job at 10 – No labor laws violated in this. He was just being generous. I just realized today that I was paid fairly despite the very limited work I did. Further, I was taught that any role of a member is of equal importance in reaching any goal.
  4. He taught me business at 11 – Not just to earn money. Not just to treat people fairly. But to share whatever gained and give cheerfully to those in need.
  5. He taught me to market and cook – Waking up before sunrise, he’d call me from the window and drag me to the market. He would always bargain and check the product he buys. We’d go then go home and cook the dish for everyone to enjoy. This taught me proper stewardship. It’s not just in the spending and proper usage, but also sharing what God has given. 
  6. He built a communal place for all of us – Lunch and dinner were always yummier when everyone ate together. 
  7. He protected me – I was not always an obedient boy. I had my rebellious moments too. When I got hurt and threatened by another relative because of my ill-mannered behavior, he took me in and made sure I was unharmed. It is indeed the duty of the strong to help the weak. Sometimes we need to protect the weak and the wrong so they can have the opportunity to be corrected by the Lord. 
  8. He encouraged me – when everyone was asking why I did something wrong and the future seemed uncertain, he pulled me aside and bought family lunch. It made me realize that a person’s current circumstance does not dictate his future. When he chose to protect and encourage me, he also chose to extend God’s grace. 
  9. He taught me to be a father – Despite the demands of life, he made time for his children. I strive to do that and saw it was possible because he made it possible. 
  10. He taught me to be a better husband – Marriage is something you perfect with time TOGETHER. For FIlipino’s, the allure of a high paying job oversease sometimes force couples to stay apart. Through him and through a lot of my “big brothers”, I will always choose to be stuck with my wife.

The last words I told him behind my sobbing was “Thank you”. I can never repay his kindness. I can no longer hear his contagious laughter and see his smile except through videos and portraits. But I will forever be comforted by the fact that he continues to live in our hearts and is now enjoying the presence of the Lord. I will still see him in the life of his children and grand children. Knowing him was a pleasure and being mentored by him an honor.

To his family, children, in-laws and grandchildren, thank you for sharing the life of your departed loved one. He was a great blessing to everyone. There will be hard time ahead, but the Lord will be your husband, father and grandfather. Don’t rely on your strength – rely on His. He is faithful, loving and full of grace.

Kuya…. You have fought a good fight. You have finished the race. You have kept the faith. Enjoy the crowns in heaven that the Lord has laid up for you. Thank you for teaching us the importance of investing in the next generation.